How to ask for a divorce

Start Here

• I’m not going to put lipstick on this pig — Divorce sucks.
• Whether you’re the one asking or the one being asked: it hurts. I’m sorry you’re going through it.
• Your partner will have a hard time hearing and retaining information due to emotion. Keep your sentences as short, clear, and concise as possible. Talk slowly and take pauses so they can take it in.
• There is no one right answer to having this conversation. Be honest, be clear, be as kind as you can be (even if you don’t feel like it), and be firm.
• Have a plan in place before you ask for a divorce. And let’s be clear - this isn’t really a request. You’re getting a divorce.
• Be 100 percent sure this is what you want before you have this conversation - being wishy washy is unkind.

Talking Points

• We’ve tried everything and it’s still not working. We’ve talked about this a lot and I’ve been thinking about our relationship for such a long time.
• I can’t be happy in this marriage anymore. We both deserve happiness.
• I know how hurt you are and how hard this will be, and I’m happy to talk with you and answer any questions you may have.
• I want to do this as amicably as possible because we owe it to all of our beautiful memories together.
• You have helped me grow so much and I’m always going to be grateful for our time together, but it’s time that we fight more for our individual happiness than for our marriage. I’ve learned that I can’t fight for both.

What to Discuss After the Initial Divorce Conversation

• Housing arrangements
• Pet sharing or sole ownership
• How to tell friends and family members
• What you both envision this process looking like
• Making a schedule for how to go about moving forward
• How much you both are comfortable leaning on each other for support
• What you'd like your relationship to look like post-divorce
• How to handle family events
• How to manage events and parties with friends
• Discussing boundaries you both feel comfortable with in terms of appropriate contact

Further Reading

How to Ask for a Divorce the Right Way | LoveToKnow

Knowing how to ask for a divorce can reduce some stress that you may be feeling at this time. Thinking about what you're going to say, mentally and emotionally preparing, and getting an idea of how your partner may react can help you feel a bit more prepared as you begin this process.

divorce.lovetoknow.com

How to Ask for a Divorce (Best Way to Tell Your Spouse)

Very few conversations end well that start with, "We need to talk." A heavy discussion about money, a major health problem, or another big life issue is probably going to come next. Unfortunately, some "we need to talk" conversations entail telling your spouse that you want a divorce.

www.google.com

How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully - Best Legal Choices

You've tried for years, but you can't make it work, no matter what you do. You want out of your marriage. But how can you bring up discussing divorce with your spouse without hurting them or causing an all-out war? There is no "best way to ask for a divorce".

www.google.com

People who have been divorced for a while - what advice would have been helpful to you at you at the start?

221 votes, 339 comments. Alternatively - if you're just starting what do you want to ask?

www.reddit.com

10 Websites if You're Going Through Divorce | Hello Divorce

We compiled a list of some of our favorite online resources for people going through a divorce. These resources can help you work through your divorce process in a more humane, inspired, and empowered way.

resources.hellodivorce.com

State Divorce Resources for All 50 States

This state divorce resource directory makes it easy for you to easily access state divorce laws, divorce forms specifically written for your state, child support guidelines and calculators, along with divorce lawyers and other professionals practicing in the surrounding area. Click on your state to find the resources and information for your area.

www.google.com