How to Call Someone Out Respectfully

That wasn't your best look, bro.

How to Call Someone Out Respectfully

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• Ask yourself - do you really need to teach this person? Why is that your job?

• That said, there are plenty of occasions when a correction is called for:

• Scenario 1: Someone you care about is making a fool of herself.

• Scenario 2: Your boundary has been crossed.

• Scenario 3: Someone keeps doing something dumb that’s now impacting you.

• Scenario 4: Someone is being hurt or will be hurt.

Talking Points

• I wanted to take the time to reply to your email thoughtfully and with care, as I know your heart and intentions are good.

• Many wonderful friends have loved me enough to coach me on tricky topics (like <topic>) so that I can see new perspectives and represent myself as I intend. I hope I can do the same for you, so please take my words in the spirit of love and sisterhood! To ensure there are no misunderstandings between us, I put time on the calendar for us to chat.

• <Be concise with your correction: Situation, Behavior, Impact>

• I’m looking forward to continuing our dialogue on <date>. Thank you for being so open to my candor!

• Please know this is given in the spirit of love and friendship.

• I really admire how you handle [specific task or challenge] with such skill. It’s one of the many strengths I’ve seen in you.

• I know it’s not easy to hear feedback sometimes, but I believe in your ability to grow from this. We’re all learning, right?

• Let me share an example that might help illustrate what I’m trying to say. Remember when [specific example]? I thought it was important to bring this up because it shows how [specific behavior] can have [specific impact].

• Have you considered how this might be affecting others, or even yourself, in the long run? It's something that’s been on my mind lately.

• I’m here to support you through this. Whether you need someone to listen or help brainstorm solutions, count me in.

• It’s been really enlightening for me to see things from different perspectives, including yours. It helps us all grow, don’t you think?

• Our relationship means a lot to me, and part of that is being honest with each other. This conversation is a testament to that.

• How do you feel about what I’ve shared? Your thoughts and feelings are important to me.

• I’m always open to hearing your feedback too. It’s how we can both continue to grow and support each other better.