How to Call Someone Out Respectfully

Mar 08, 2024

Ask yourself - do you really need to teach this person? Why is that your job?
That said, there are plenty of occasions when a correction is called for:
Scenario 1: Someone you care about is making a fool of herself.
Scenario 2: Your boundary has been crossed.
Scenario 3: Someone keeps doing something dumb that’s now impacting you.
Scenario 4: Someone is being hurt or will be hurt.

I wanted to take the time to reply to your email thoughtfully and with care, as I know your heart and intentions are good.
Many wonderful friends have loved me enough to coach me on tricky topics (like <topic>) so that I can see new perspectives and represent myself as I intend. I hope I can do the same for you, so please take my words in the spirit of love and sisterhood! To ensure there are no misunderstandings between us, I put time on the calendar for us to chat.
<Be concise with your correction: Situation, Behavior, Impact>

I’m looking forward to continuing our dialogue on <date>. Thank you for being so open to my candor!
Please know this is given in the spirit of love and friendship.
I really admire how you handle [specific task or challenge] with such skill. It’s one of the many strengths I’ve seen in you.
I know it’s not easy to hear feedback sometimes, but I believe in your ability to grow from this. We’re all learning, right?
Let me share an example that might help illustrate what I’m trying to say. Remember when [specific example]? I thought it was important to bring this up because it shows how [specific behavior] can have [specific impact].
Have you considered how this might be affecting others, or even yourself, in the long run? It's something that’s been on my mind lately.
I’m here to support you through this. Whether you need someone to listen or help brainstorm solutions, count me in.
It’s been really enlightening for me to see things from different perspectives, including yours. It helps us all grow, don’t you think?
Our relationship means a lot to me, and part of that is being honest with each other. This conversation is a testament to that.
How do you feel about what I’ve shared? Your thoughts and feelings are important to me.
I’m always open to hearing your feedback too. It’s how we can both continue to grow and support each other better.