How to Decline a Request for Money

Can you give me a small loan of a billion dollars?

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Those dreaded words…

“Can you loan me a hundred bucks?”

“I’m really struggling financially. You’ve always been there for me. Can you give me enough to cover my rent?”

“Is there any way you could spot me some cash? I don’t need much.”

“My kid only needs a few more orders for her scout competition…”

Very few things in life are as cringe-y as when a friend, colleague, acquaintance, or stranger asks you for money.

This guide will help you turn them down.

Talking Points

• No.

• I’m not in a position to help you, I’m sorry.

• I can’t help you.

• I care very much for you, but I don’t feel comfortable lending you money.

• I’m sorry, I have a personal boundary/principle of not mixing money and friends.

ONE-TIME LOAN MESSAGE:

If I lend you money, you have to promise to never ask me for money again.

• Simple No: "I'm sorry, I can't do that."

• Offer a Reason (Optional): "I'm not able to commit to that right now because I have other priorities that need my attention."

• Express Gratitude: "Thank you for thinking of me, but I'll have to pass this time."

• Suggest an Alternative: "I can't help with that, but what if we try this instead?"

• Set Boundaries: "I'm trying to focus on my personal goals right now, so I won't be able to."

• Be Direct but Kind: "I appreciate your request, but I'm not in a position to say yes."

• Delay Your Response: "Can I get back to you on that?" (Use this if you need time to think or prepare for a more definitive no.)

• Refer to a Policy or Rule: "I follow a rule about not lending money, so I must say no."

• Reaffirm Your Stance: If they persist, gently reaffirm with, "As I mentioned, I'm unable to help with this."