How to Give Someone a Backhanded Compliment
How to Give Someone a Backhanded Compliment
That outfit is so brave.
Backhanded Compliment -
A compliment that implies it is not really a compliment.
A perfect example:
Start Here
Delivering a backhanded compliment is a delicate operation, hovering between sincerity and wit.
The tone is crucial. A backhanded compliment must be delivered with a smile as warm as a summer day and a voice as sweet as molasses.
The recipient should feel the glow of praise before the chill of realization sets in.
For example, saying, "I love how you just don’t care what anyone thinks of you," sounds like admiration for one's confidence. Yet, it subtly implies a lack of concern for social norms or opinions, a fine insult wrapped in a pretty package.
The beauty of a backhanded compliment lies in its subtlety. It's not a blunt instrument but a finely honed blade, slipping between the ribs of one's ego with precision.
Talking Points
You look so much nicer than usual.
You look comfortable.
Oh, what a lovely sweater. My grandma has one just like it.
You’re so lucky you’re pretty.
You’re lucky to have those curves.
You have such an interesting style.
You look fantastic. You didn’t need to go to all that trouble.
You look so much better/healthier now.
You should get addicted to heroin, I think it’d really suit you.
I bet you were in great shape when you were younger.
It’s not that I hate you, I haven’t as yet found a reason to like you.
I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
Relax, sweetie. You were perfectly adequate.
Your haircut really slims your face.
I always feel more intelligent after reading your work.
It’s really difficult to underestimate you.
Your haircut makes your nose look smaller.
You look really nice in this light.
That’s a beautiful photo of you. I didn’t recognize you at first.
You’re not as dumb as you look.
I love how you just don’t care what anyone thinks of you.
I don’t care what others say about you. You’re alright in my book.
Your Instagram makes you seem so fun.
I didn’t expect you to get the job - Congratulations.
I wish I was as relaxed as you are about messiness.
You’re so charming when you make an effort.
Those earrings are so nice. My grandma would love them.
Your house feels so cozy and lived in.
Well, that’s a level of incompetence I’ve never seen before.
You’re pretty on the inside.
That’s not the ugliest shirt I’ve seen you wear.
You might not be the prettiest, but you’re definitely the funniest.
You clean up nice.
You’re smarter than two dumb guys.
That’s a great photo of you - I didn’t even recognize you.
If you keep working hard, I’m sure someday you’ll be at the top of the bell curve.
I truly love how you just don’t care what others think. That takes a confident person.
You’re surprisingly articulate for someone your age.
You did a great job on that project, considering your experience level.
It’s amazing how you manage to stay so positive despite everything.
You’re very brave to wear that outfit.
I envy your ability to disregard social norms so effortlessly.
You must be proud of yourself for trying so hard.
You have such a unique perspective on things.
It’s impressive how much you’ve accomplished with your limitations.
You’re so lucky you don’t have to worry about fashion trends.
You’re great at finding the silver lining in bad situations.
You have a face that really stands out in a crowd.
You’re so refreshingly blunt.
You have a lot of character.
You’re so lucky to have a job that suits your skills perfectly.
You’re really good at embracing your flaws.
You’re not as awkward as you used to be.
You’ve got a great personality.
You’re a true original.
Your confidence is almost intimidating.
It’s nice to see someone who doesn’t care about appearances.
Your ideas are so unconventional.
You’re so independent; it’s almost like you don’t need anyone.
You’re very brave to speak your mind so freely.
You’re so interesting; I never know what you’re going to say next.
Your passion is so intense, it’s almost overwhelming.
You’re very persistent; you don’t give up easily, do you?
It’s great how you always find a way to make things work, even if it’s not the best way.
You’re very ambitious; some might say overly so.
It’s impressive how you manage to stay so calm in such chaotic situations.
Your sense of style is so unique; no one dresses like you.
It’s amazing how you manage to stay so cheerful despite everything.
You’re so lucky to have such an easygoing attitude.
You have such a creative mind; it’s almost childlike.
You’re so down-to-earth; it’s like you don’t care about luxury at all.
You’re so modest; it’s almost like you don’t have any achievements to brag about.
Your taste in music is so eclectic; it’s almost like you don’t care about trends.
You’re so spontaneous; it’s like you don’t plan anything.
You’re so authentic; you don’t care about impressing anyone.
Backhanded Compliments from Some of the Greats:
Winston Churchill: "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Dorothy Parker: "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
Oscar Wilde: "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
Mark Twain: "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Jane Austen: "I am afraid that I make very slow progress, for I am too idle, and too indulgent to my idleness. You will be tired of this poor work, but you must always love me, though I am incapable of returning your kindness in equal measure."
George Bernard Shaw: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend—if you have one."
Lyndon B. Johnson: "He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
Mae West: "You’re never too old to become younger."
