How to Respond to Someone Oversharing

I'm sure you had *some* reason for telling me that.

Why Do People Overshare?

Some people overshare because they’re trying to navigate anxiety, loneliness, or a deep need for connection. For some, it’s a way to seek comfort or reassurance, especially when they’re feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood. It might also be that in moments of social anxiety, they find it harder to hold back or filter what they share, simply because they’re using so much energy just trying to manage their nerves. Often, they’re hoping for connection or understanding but may not realize that oversharing can sometimes make them feel even more vulnerable or misunderstood in the end.

Start Here

• While sharing can foster connection, understanding the risks and practicing mindful sharing habits can protect your mental health and relationships.

• Stay Calm and Present: It’s essential to remain calm and present in the moment. While it might be uncomfortable or overwhelming, remember that the other person is likely feeling vulnerable. Give them your attention without judgment, but also be mindful of your own boundaries.

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Begin by recognizing their emotions. Often, oversharing comes from a place of needing to be seen or heard, so acknowledging their feelings can offer some reassurance without encouraging more personal disclosure.

• Gently Set Boundaries: If the conversation becomes too personal or uncomfortable, it’s okay to set boundaries. Do so in a compassionate and respectful way. By guiding it toward a more appropriate topic, you can redirect the conversation without invalidating their emotions.

• Offer Support, Not Solutions: Let the person know you care about their well-being. While you don’t have to dive into their issues or offer solutions, you can express concern and suggest other ways they might process their feelings—like talking to a professional or a trusted friend.

• Redirect the Conversation: Subtly steer the discussion toward a less personal or more neutral topic. This can help create space for them to step back from oversharing without feeling rejected.

Talking Points

• I can see this is really important to you, and I appreciate you sharing with me. It might be helpful to talk with someone who can give you more focused support.

• It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. I’m here for you, but I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself in the best way possible.

• That sounds difficult, and I’m glad you feel comfortable talking with me. Maybe we can focus on finding some ways to help you process it.

• I really value our conversations, but I’m not sure I’m the best person to help with something so personal. Have you thought about reaching out to someone who can give you more support?

• I understand how hard this must be, but let’s talk about something else for a bit. I want to make sure we’re keeping things balanced.

• I’m here for you, but I think this might be something to explore with someone who can offer more specific guidance or help.

Emotional Oversharing (e.g., sharing too many intimate details about personal struggles)

• I can tell you’re really going through something right now. I’m here to listen, but I think it might help to speak with someone who can give you the deeper support you deserve.

• That sounds like a lot to handle. Have you had a chance to talk this through with someone who can offer more guidance?

• I care about you and want to make sure you’re getting the right kind of support. Maybe this would be good to discuss with a therapist or someone close to you who can help.

Oversharing in Professional Settings (e.g., inappropriate sharing in the workplace)

• I really appreciate you being open with me, but this might not be the best time or place for this conversation. Let’s catch up later about this.

• It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, but let’s try to stay focused on the task at hand right now. I’m happy to talk more in another setting.

• I understand that you're facing some challenges, but I want to be mindful of keeping things professional here. Maybe we can chat about it outside of work if you need support.

Oversharing in Casual or New Relationships (e.g., sharing too much too soon)

• I appreciate you trusting me with this, but I think we’re still getting to know each other. Let’s keep things light for now.

• I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing, but maybe we can save some of the more personal stuff for later as we get to know each other better.

• It’s great that we’re connecting, but let’s take our time getting into the deeper topics. I’m looking forward to building a friendship step by step.

Oversharing About Health Issues

• That sounds really tough. Have you been able to talk with your doctor or someone who can help more directly?

• I can imagine that must be hard. Maybe talking this through with a health professional would give you the answers and support you need.

Oversharing About Relationships

• I understand relationships can be tricky. It might help to talk this over with someone who knows you both well or a counselor who can offer better advice.

• I hear you, and I’m here to listen. But I think this might be something better suited for a close friend or therapist who can give you the right guidance.

• I get that you're going through a tough time, but maybe this is a conversation for a more private setting or with someone who can offer more direct support.

Direct Responses

• I appreciate that you want to share, but I’m not really comfortable getting into this level of detail.

• I’m not the best person to have this conversation with, and I’d prefer to keep things a bit more light.

• I respect your openness, but I’m not really in a place to talk about this right now.

• That sounds really personal, and to be honest, I’d rather not get into it.

• I’d rather not discuss this topic. It feels like something you might want to talk over with someone closer to you.

• I’m not comfortable hearing more about this, but I hope you find someone who can help.

• I understand you’re going through a lot, but I’d prefer to keep our conversations more focused on [a different topic].

---