How to Turn Down a Request for a Recommendation

I'd love to, but I just ran out of words.

Colin is stoked to work with you, cuz.

Here’s the scenario: Your dear old cousin Colin just found out about an open position in your department and is asking you for a recommendation to give to the big boss. Cousin Colin was fired from his last three jobs for sleeping on the job and has yet to show any sign of changing his ways. Recommending him is NOT an option. What do you say to Colin?

Start Here

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO GIVE ANYONE A RECOMMENDATION

• It’s okay to say no.

👉👉 There are laws to protect people that make it challenging for employers to give negative reviews to former employees. For that reason, be careful how you give a negative reference so a former or current employee doesn't have legal grounds to sue you or your company. Even if your comments are valid and you might even win a lawsuit, it’s rarely worth your time or emotional investment.

Talking Points by Scenario

• Turning down a recommendation because you don't know them:

  • I appreciate you considering me for a recommendation.

  • I don't feel I know you well enough to provide a detailed and accurate recommendation.

  • You might want to reach out to someone who has worked more closely with you.

• Turning down a recommendation because you don't like the person:

  • Thank you for asking me to give a recommendation.

  • I don't feel I can provide the recommendation you're looking for.

  • I suggest you contact someone else who might be better suited to give an objective recommendation.

• Turning down a recommendation because you don't think they would do a good job or be a good fit:

  • Thanks for reaching out to me.

  • I strive to provide honest and supportive recommendations.

  • I don't feel confident that I can provide the positive recommendation you might be seeking.

  • It might be helpful to ask someone who is more familiar with your strengths and qualifications.

• Turning down a recommendation because you just don't want to:

  • I appreciate you thinking of me for a recommendation.

  • I'm currently not able to take on additional recommendations.

  • I'm sorry, but I have to decline.

  • I suggest reaching out to someone else who might be more available to assist.

Talking Points

• I appreciate you thinking of me, but I don’t feel I can provide the recommendation you’re looking for.

• I’m honored you asked, but I’m not able to provide a recommendation at this time.

• Thank you for considering me, but I don’t feel I’m the best person to give you a recommendation.

• I’m flattered by your request, but I don’t know you well enough to write a meaningful recommendation.

• I don’t feel I can give you the recommendation you deserve.

• I wish I could help, but I’m not in a position to provide a recommendation right now.

• I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m the right person to give a recommendation.

• I appreciate you asking, but I don’t feel comfortable giving a recommendation.

• Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not able to provide a recommendation.

• I’m touched by your request, but I don’t have the capacity to write a recommendation currently.

• I’m sorry, but I’m not the best person to provide a recommendation for you.

• I appreciate your confidence in me, but I can’t provide a recommendation at this time.

• I’m not able to give you the recommendation you need.

• I’m honored by your request, but I’m unable to write a recommendation.

• I wish I could help, but I’m not the right person to provide a recommendation.

• I’m sorry, but I don’t have the ability to give a recommendation at this moment.

• I appreciate your trust, but I can’t provide a recommendation.

• I’m not in a position to give a recommendation at this time.

• I’m touched you asked, but I’m unable to provide a recommendation.

• I don’t feel I can give you the recommendation you’re seeking.

• I wish I could assist, but I’m not the right person to write a recommendation for you.

• I’m sorry, but I don’t feel I’m able to provide a recommendation.

• I appreciate your request, but I’m not able to give a recommendation currently.

• I’m honored you asked, but I don’t feel comfortable providing a recommendation.

• I’m sorry, but I’m unable to give a recommendation at this time.