How to Ask Someone About Suspicious Behavior Without Accusing Them of It
I smell a rat.
👉 See also: How to Call Someone Out Respectfully
Start Here
So you’re suspicious that someone’s been up to some chicanery, eh?
Maybe you are a parent and you’re trying to get your teen to ‘fess up to the new dent in the SUV, or you’re a manager handling a delicate HR issue; these talking points are meant to encourage open and honest communication while maintaining a positive and non-confrontational tone.
You may not have proof — or enough proof — and you want to give them the opportunity to say something.
Your tone should be light and positive. Give them the impression you couldn’t possibly believe they had done something wrong. You’re just trying to solve a problem.
Talking Points
Hi, <name>, I wanted to ask you about <whatever it is you’re suspicious of>.
<give them a moment to speak>
Look, to be clear, I’m not suggesting anything. It’s just that <brief summary of why you’re suspicious>.
<if they’re not answering, use a pregnant silence to pressure them to fill it by answering>
Please understand that I’m not suggesting anything other than the appearance of impropriety…
You know, these things can sometimes be a simple misunderstanding. I just want to clear things up…
I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. I just want to get to the bottom of this together.
I have no doubt that once we talk this through, we’ll find a simple solution.
Is there anything you think I should know that might help clarify this?
<if they still don’t answer, you must either ask them directly or walk away from the conversation>
